Monday, July 20, 2015

Divorce Sucks

I have written about 15 different blog entries since my last post and I felt none of them were good enough to post. So, all I have to say is divorce sucks. Yeah, my mom wouldn't be totally proud of me saying the word sucks but oh well. I know my former husband may read this, but that's okay. I'm sure I am not saying anything he doesn't know.

It is hard to watch your former husband marry someone else. It is hard to watch them have children with someone else. Hard is not an accurate description. It is excruciating. In the last four years, I have watched my former husband marry someone else and have children with her. It is the most painful thing I have ever been through, In some ways, more painful than the divorce. I have questioned myself constantly. It has shaken my self-confidence and my faith in God.

So, here is my advice for married couples, especially those who are about to throw in the towel. Don't give up. Ever. FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE! I felt like I fought so hard. I did fight for my marriage, but my former husband "didn't love me anymore." At the time, I was in total and complete despair. I didn't know what to do, so I did what I thought he wanted and what I thought was best for my kids. I prayed and prayed for God to heal our marriage and I felt like He was never answering. Maybe He was. Maybe He was just telling me to hang on and my former husband I would eventually work things out.

If this is you, push back against the feeling of despair. Do things that make you remember why you fell in love. Do things TOGETHER. In this stage, it is so easy to lead separate lives. Enjoy things you love TOGETHER. Go out with other couples TOGETHER. Be deliberate about spending time with each other.

Bottom line...hold on. God will help you, just be patient.